Archive: April, 2008

Jeff has made some vague comments on his website about our future, but up until now I haven't posted anything about it. Maybe its because I'm afraid I might jinx things (ridiculous I know). It doesn't seem real yet. But the last few weekends we've done a bit of ring browsing which has given me a reality check about the whole thing. To say I'm excited is an understatement. Most times words don't come out - just some excited squeaky noises.

My friend told me about this website and it's so cool! If you have things to give away and don't want to throw them out, you can post what you have and see if anyone wants it. It's a way to keep useful things out of landfills. I'm going to have alot of things to get rid of as I finish cleaning out my house and put it on the market, so this is definitely an option.

It's odd how stress affects people differently - some thrive on it, others shut down, and still others fall somewhere in between. When I had a career in theater I handled stress very well but I've gotten out of practice. I think the big difference now is that a lot of the stress I'm dealing with is self-inflicted. I have so many things that I think I need to get done in a set order and within a specified time-frame, and they're not small things either. In the past, these types of stress situations motivated me to complete the tasks at hand but this time around I'm finding myself paralyzed and unable to act. I have so many thoughts running through my head and I can't shut down most times. It's making me feel rather overwhelmed. Anyone who knows me, knows that I'm a list maker. The fact that I'm having trouble starting a list really says something. Jeff has been so supportive and reassuring, reminding me to break things down into chunks, but I'm just having difficulty and I don't know why.

I've got a lot of things changing in my life (physically and emotionally) and I'm confident that I'll get everything worked out, but it's still frustrating for me nonetheless. I'm hoping that the warmer weather will help.

Despite our efforts, Sherry and I did not win in the finals. That trophy would have been nice, but we were outplayed. We had some nice points and we will have the opportunity to play against them again later this summer. Looking forward to that!

Competitive tennis season is almost here and Sherry (my tennis partner) and I had the opportunity to play in a USTA sanctioned doubles tournament this weekend. Jeff was there to support us.

Playing for fun every week just isn't the same as competing, especially when it can affect your rankings. Now, I'm not even a blip on the radar but I'd like to get to a 3.5 rating and winning a competition always helps your record. There's always a bit of nerves at the start of a competitive match, but Sherry and I did really well our first set winning 6-3. For some reason though, our typical mode of operation after winning the first set is to fall apart. This afternoon was no exception. We lost the second set 6-0. We don't get cocky, but there's obviously something that changes after the changeover. Sometimes it's the opponents switching things up (changing sides, taking more risks, trying new shots), but most of the time it's just us falling apart. It's frustrating. Lucky for us, we got our act together during the tie breaker and won it 10-2 so we're in the finals for tomorrow.

In the last few weeks, I've been pulled into the most unusual conversations about going to the bathroom in public restrooms. I know at least 5 people who will use a restroom if they have to pee but refuse to use one if they have to take a dump. Someone at work made themselves sick by doing this. I can't even imagine it. In my world, if you gotta go, you gotta go. Wipe down the toilet seat, use a toilet seat cover, whatever. Just get over it and do your business.

Okay, it's not exactly the typical resolution-making time of year but I decided to make a resolution for the next month or so. I'm going to try and go walking at least 4 times a week. With the warmer temperatures, it's just nice to get outside but my true motivation is my tight fitting jeans. I've been lucky about my weight my entire life. In college I had problems maintaining a healthy weight (much to the envy of many friends). I never experienced the "freshman 15" or even gone on a diet before. And I don't want to start now. Which is why I'm incorporating more exercise into my routine.

The reason this is a short term resolution (just this month), is because USTA tennis season kicks off on May 5th. Then I'll be competing twice a week and practicing at least once a week. I'll be moving my ass lots then! Plus, I'm sure there will be lots of walking at various amusement parks.

So far, I've walked twice this week. I've got tennis tomorrow night, but weather permitting there's the hope of Wednesday evening and sometime this weekend. I've got a USTA tennis tournament this weekend, but I should be able to fit it in.

The current knitting project that I have on my needles is a scarf for someone I've never met. I joined the International Scarf Exchange (this is the 6th one) through the Ravelry knitting site that I'm a member of. I was given a person who lives in California, but there are people from all over the world participating. Here's what it looks like so far:

Is it possible that spring is finally here? I'm so excited about the nice weather we're supposed to have this weekend. I'm hoping we can open up the windows for a bit.

All of the various spring bulbs that I've planted around my house are coming up. It's one of the sad things about not living there now. Don't get me wrong, I love living with Jeff, but I won't get to enjoy all my flowers this year. In a few weeks my daffodils and tulips will be blooming and there are tons of buds on my lilac bushes. I just love spring!!

Okay, I realize that tennis is much more than just a game to some people, especially the pros. I've seen guys on the court who throw tantrums and hit their racquets against the wall, etc. but this is a bit extreme... and stupid. I wonder if he got a penalty or warning because his injury was self inflicted.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x6EVSM5o_O8&feature=related

I decided to take the day off after our whirlwind travels this week. The trip to Snoqualmie (Seattle suburb) was nice but it definitely brought feelings of restlessness. When I think back on my life thus far, my time spent in Cleveland has been the longest I've stayed in any city since I was 16. I always felt compelled to move around, whether it be for school, job, family, or personal relationships. When I lay it out in writing it's a bit eye-opening:

Chicago - 2 years
College years - Evansville (1 yr), Grantham UK (5 months), Toledo (4 months), Cleveland (2 yrs)
Cincinnati - 3.5 yrs
New York/New Jersey - 3.5 yrs
Cleveland - 9 yrs

As I've gotten older, it's gotten more and more challenging to just pick up and move. When I moved to New York, I'd never even visited the city before, I didn't have a job and I was picking up keys to an apartment that I'd never seen. That took alot of guts. I just don't have that in me to just pick up without a care in the world. Jeff and I are both a bit restless and wanting to go somewhere new. But do we have the courage to just do it? I don't know. Life in the familiar can be very appealing and there's comfort in sticking with what you know.